


Teaching Elsie

by guest22079



Category: Kami Nomi zo Shiru Sekai | The World God Only Knows
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 00:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guest22079/pseuds/guest22079
Summary: A story about Elsie learning to how to pass tests with the help Keima. This story references the manga, light novel, and other TWGOK fanfics (listed at the bottom). One-shot.





	Teaching Elsie

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:References Manga, Light Novel, and various fanics. Fanfics referenced are listed at the end. One-shot for Elsie’s birthday.

 

"Nii-sama, are you sure this is what Mother meant?" Elsie face scrunched up slightly as she was reading, and rereading, what the girl in the PFP was saying.

"Mom never said anything about how I should teach you. She only said that I had to improve your grades." Keima was twirling a pencil on his finger as he watched Elsie progress through the game. He would be playing alongside Elsie had he had another PFP, but that was just not the reality of things. Another reason to hate reality in his mind.

"But Nii-sama, please take this seriously. Don't you remember what Mother said? That she would cut your allowance if I failed my next test?" Elsie truly wanted to believe that playing video games would increase her grade – that her Kami-nii-sama methods that were based on games would work again, just as it had for everything else – but she couldn't. Surely, games couldn't be this perfect, could it? If it was, why didn't Nii-sama let Ayumi, Chihiro, and Kanon play games when he was teaching them? His consoles weren't all confiscated yet.

Keima's bamboo sword came down with a loud crash. "I am taking this seriously. If I want to maximize the games I play, I have to maximize the funding I am given. Teaching you the traditional way may have been feasible for one test. However, teaching you the old fashion way for every single test would simply take too much time." Suddenly dusts were flying as Keima wrote furiously on his black board, listing everything wrong with tutoring the traditional way. Most prominent of them were: it being too time consuming, Elsie illiteracy, and constant need to repeat old lesson as time went on. Suddenly, he entered his lecturing pose. He started to list off all of the great things that came with lessons via video games. Sadly, Elsie was starting to doze off at that point, only catching a few items. Of those ideas were: learning how to read, use context clues, and apply logic. There were probably a couple hundred more, but they were forever lost to Elsie.

Nonetheless, Elsie continued to obediently play the game. The game, despite having a girl, was not a galge game. It was more akin to a picture book, following the story of a litter girl escapades through school. She only used vocabulary a kindergartner would know, had the same personality as Elsie, and was simple minded. The best part, it featured a fire truck, guaranteeing Elsie attention. The Real could not have been expected to have any semblance to a fair difficulty curve or incentives, but games certainly did. Games were by far, in God professional opinion, the best way to get started in this world. Now if only he could just figure out a way to get his PFP back.

xxx-xxx-xxx

As the Katsuragi duo were heading to school the next day, rumors and gossips were abound. Of course, there were the obligatory "How many PFP does Otomega have?" gossips. (The answer to that question is one. Just one. The one in Keima hand was a dud.) In addition to the old gossips, though, were a few new one. Comments such as "Otomega strikes again" and "Poor Elsie" were surprisingly abundant. Not as abundant as gossips about Kanon latest song and the highly speculated date of Kanon next appearance at school, but still noticeable.

The gossips and comments were so noticeable in fact that even Elsie, whose eyes and ears were now glued to the PFP, noticed. "Nii-sama, is this normal?"

Keima hesitated for a bit before answering. "Yes. It is quiet a bit more than usual, but nothing out of the ordinary." Borderline ordinary.

To the side, and away from Keima and Elsie range of detection, were the rest of 2-B Pencils, discussing about the new change of events.

And class was not much different with one notable exception.

Nikaidou tapped on the back of Elsie shoulder. "Elsie, please put the game away. We do not need another Katsuragi in my class, you know."

"But I am Katsuragi," Elsie whined as she carefully placed the PFP into the hagoromo.

"Ugh, I meant another Keima Katsuragi. You do realize your brother plays video games in my class all day, right? That goes for you too, Keima Katsuragi."

"Oh" was all Elsie could say in her embarrassment. Keima, as usual, ignored Nikaidou warning and got his game confiscated in the process.

Keima retaliated by taking out another PFP from his backpack. Nikaidou was unsure what to make of the situation. On one hand, the fact that the PFP in both her and Keima's hand were duds, implying that Keima had ran out of PFP and was just spiting her at this point. But this could all be a complicated prank Keima had thought of to get back at her. Additionally, Elsie had an actual, working PFP. The situation made no sense to her. To Keima, everything was going according to plan.

Xxx-xxx-xxx

"Nii-sama, why are you coming with me? Don't you usually go straight home."

"Indeed, but I need to do something first." He neglected to tell Elsie that the something he would be doing was taking his PFP back, dud and all. He had already brewed the coffee in the teacher lounge, ensured it was filled with a little laxative, and that the bathrooms were locked. For now, he just had to wait near the lounge until the first scream. Sadly, the plan had one flaw – he lacked a PFP during a waiting period, meaning he was utterly bored to death for the time being.

Elsie, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic. The lack of people meant that she could clean the place however she wanted. Even in spite of shouts of " _Damn that Guy!_ " quick footsteps, and the opening and shutting of the classroom door, Elsie cleaned both dutifully and magnificently. So much so that smile she received from her reflection on the floor seemed impeccable. Thousands of years worth of cleaning experience would make even the dullest devil seem like a true genius. No mortal can ever hope to match her cleaning prowess, except her Nii-sama. But her Nii-sama was always an exception, so he didn't count. Besides, he was God.

Suddenly, the door came knocking before it slowly crept opened, too impatient to wait for an answer.

"Elly, are you there?" The response was a tight hug.

"Chihiro, what are you doing here? Class ended ages ago."

"What? Can't a friend visit another friend anytime she wishes? Anyway, I just want to know if you have some free time. I was thinking about inviting you to come with me to Dean Land."

"Really? When! When!" Elsie was jumping for joy right now. She vaguely remembered all of the fun she had there last time.

"Today, right after you finish cleaning." It was only after Elsie took a step aside and pointed at the classroom did Chihiro noticed the gleam and shine she didn't knew was achievable. The Katsuragi sure were something.

xxx-xxx-xxx

For those not in the know, Dean Land is a separate place from Dezeni Sea. They did not have Ferris wheels or fire stations. What they did have were costumes, and lots of them. The place was practically built with cosplaying in mind, complete with lockers and one-time payment that were easy on the wallet to try as many costume as possible. Additionally, and this was a big reason that Chihiro chose this place, they had a karaoke place. All of the others thing to try out, like bowling and slides, were only a bonus. A big bonus.

For now, Chihiro simply waited for Elsie to finish dressing up. Chihiro was currently wearing an idol costume (complete with pink hair, glasses, and fake stun guns) as she tapped her feet to the rhythm of "Happy Crescent" in the background.

Chihiro did not regret choosing the idol costume for a single moment, though it was a very close call. Inside, for whatever reason, there was a costume that looked eerily like Otomega. It was tagged as "costume consultant," but included glasses and PFP cutouts. It was so unlike any idea of a costume consultant Chihiro could ever think of, but it was equally unlikely that anyone would make a costume of Otomega, much less know him. He stayed at home all of the time playing video games, right?

Suddenly, Elsie appeared in none other than the exact same outfit she wore last time she came here, a simple maid costume. It did not really take Elsie that long to choose an outfit. In fact, she picked it out before Chihiro even decided she wanted to an idol costume. The only reason she took so long to get out was that she was reminiscing about the time she came here with Tooru and her precious Nii-sama.

As they walked to their first destination, the music was slowly becoming louder and louder. This was no mere coincidence. Chihiro was a vocalist at heart and she was determined to practice singing any free time she got, even if the whole reason she was here was to convince Elsie to stop playing video games in class.

That was not to say she would never come here with Elsie on her free time. Heck, she planned to come here after Mai-High Festival ended along with the rest of the band. Right after she threw the biggest party for her band triumphant over Kanon, of course. Ah, the trouble a band leader has to go through to never ceases. Still, it was all worth it in her opinion.

After a quick jamming sessions at the karaoke booth (two-and-a-half hours, two-hours if you excluded the time to teach Elsie how the machines worked), they tried a variety of other attractions. Attractions including, but not limited to: changing costumes (again), riding roller coasters indoor, and bowling. They even visited the food court (meat buns stand) several times, much to Chihiro delight.

All the while, Chihiro was trying to prod into Elsie mind. She asked questions such as "What games are you playing?" "How many games have you completed so far?" and the like. The only answers she got back were either obvious or vague. If only she could ask the right question. She wasn't a genius like Keima, a resourceful general like Ayumi, or even an outspoken girl like Yui. She was just a normal girl with newfound passion and desire. She thought that her plan was perfect too. Oh well, at least it was fun. You win some, you lose some.

After a while, Chihiro decided to go to the gaming corner. What better way to see why Elsie played video games than to see her play video games? Unfortunately, that course of action only sprung up more questions than it solved. Since when was Elsie literate, much less that good at trivia game. Sure, she wasn't champion level by any stretch, but she scored twice as much as was initially expected. If she didn't even know these basic fact about Elsie, how was she supposed to be a great band leader? She resolved to hang out with Elsie, all of her bandmates, more.

At the end of the day, they said their goodbyes and went straight home. Well, not straight home. Chihiro went to buy dinner while Elsie had the sudden urge to visit the fire station. Since there were no fire stations at Dean Land, she would have to travel to Dezeni Sea first. After that, though, they went straight home.

Xxx-xxx-xxx

True to her words, Chihiro scheduled tons of team bonding activity for her band mates, of which Yui was infinitely grateful for. Keima had managed to gain enough money from his website to buy another PFP. He was still behind, but not as much as he would be if he taught Elsie the tradition way. As for Elsie, she had stopped playing video games in class. At home, however, was a different story entirely. She played video games all of the time there.

And at first, Mari did not approve. After Keima had reminded her, rather bluntly, that Elsie had started out illiterate and needed literacy in order to improve her game, Mari turned a blind eye. This was not at all how she expected Keima to help Elsie get better grades in school, but he put up a good argument and anything to help Elsie get an education was welcomed. The moment she could read, though, all bets were off. Unbeknownst to her, Elsie could already read by now.

What Elsie was working on instead was improving her ability find clues and her ability to logically glue those clues together.

For now though, the bet was still on, and Elsie was obediently clicking the PFP. The task Keima set out for her to do today was summarize everything each character said, do, and act, in addition to writing down any words she did not know. It was an effective strategy, and the God of Conquest simply would not have it any other way.

Still, progress was still a little too slow for his liking. He could tell how fast she was going simply by watching the light shift colors on her face. The time it took her to get from Act 1 to Act 2, he had already completed one game and was onto the next. Finals was next month and he wondered if Elsie was ready to study on her own or not.

Elsie, on the other hand, was ecstatic. Today she was taking notes that she herself made, without any help from her Nii-sama. She promised herself that she would pass that exam, no matter what.

Dorodorodorodoro

"Nii-sama, an escaped spirit" Elsie whimpered. She rathered study for the next test than hunt down an escaped spirit right now.

"So? You said you didn't want to just 'keep living thoughtlessly and optimistically as before,' right? Well, now you can do something more, capture an escape spirit by yourself." Despite the fact that Keima said that with his poker face glued to his PFP, Elsie couldn't help but feel joy. She remembered this conversation. The day Nii-sama praised her. She will not fail Nii-sama, she promised to herself. Even at the cost of her own earlier resolve.

From that point on, Elsie thew out her carefully laid out plans out the window in favor of capturing the escaped spirit, solo. She didn't study for the test when she "accidentally" bumped into the target. She didn't recite the quadratic formula while she chattered with the target, prying for details. She didn't even look at the calendar as the two bonded over their lack of good grades and made a resolution to pass the test together. Soon enough, when the grades were posted, the spirit was released and captured.

A byproduct of the capture was at least a 70% on all of Elsie tests. That, and a new friend. Elsie could not have been more pleased with herself if she tried.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fics referenced were Connections by Cielesia (ffn:11401577), “Best date ever” by xellos540 (ffn:12866823), Damn that Guy! by Sir Sleeps-a-lot (ffn:9761766), and The Story with no End by Sir Sleeps-a-lot (ffn:12883560). Tell me if I took referencing too far. I just liked those stories too much.
> 
> Connections for Keima’s subplot  
> “Best date ever” for Chihiro’s idol costume and reference  
> Damn that Guy! for Costume Consultant costume and Keima’s subplot  
> The Story with no End for Elsie’s capture  
> Light novel for bamboo sword and Dean Land event.


End file.
